long december

It's December - the end of the year!!

There were so many changes this year. For a while I wasn't looking at the positive side of things. I was only allowing myself to see the negative. But I know God has called me to a life of love and abundance and I choose to focus on the good He has given to me. So I was thinking about the year and I decided to write at least one thing positive that has happened each month this year.

Jan – met someone who is now one of my best friends; survived the ice storm and learned to appreciate electricity

Feb – figured out what I wanted to do with my life, career wise - children's ministry

Mar – spent the whole month in observance of lent (my own decision and my first experience) – learned some very important lessons

Apr – started my health kick, realized that I actually enjoy running

May – visited friends and DBU campus in Texas

June – celebrated a whole month of friends birthdays, i'm an honorary member of the june bday club

July – celebrated independence day with family, friends, camping, fireworks and shopping; bought a new car

Aug – started grad school, had a much needed change in my job situation

Sept – two new Bible study groups started this month

Oct – had a great weekend in KC with friends and family; turned 26, celebrated with a pasta party and games; took a road trip with family to Tennessee; traveled a lot

Nov – went to a great concert; had a wonderful thanksgiving with family; finished my first 5K

Dec – finished my first semester of grad school; Christmastime – my favorite time of the year

so I challenge you friends to look at the good that God has brought into your life this year...

back to blogging

So I’ve decided to get back into blogging. I used to do it a lot but life happened and I just sort of threw blogging on the backburner. I’ve been so busy with school lately that I haven’t been able to catch up with people. If I start writing again at least people would know what I’ve been up to lately. Writing is also a sort of release for me; I can express myself better through writing than I can through talking. Side note: someday I think it would be a learning experience to not say a single word for the whole day. Granted I wouldn’t be able to do it on a workday or otherwise my class would be utter chaos! But maybe some weekend. Some of the wisest people I know are the best listeners. But that’s a project for some day in the future.

Anyways, so this weekend has been wonderful. Relaxing is one of my favorite things to do on the weekends. I had the girls from work over Friday night for our work Christmas party. We had a good time of eating, opening gifts, and playing Catch Phrase. It was fun to get to know everyone outside of the workplace. Friday night was also the first night of many nights for dog sitting. I’m going to be dog sitting for the next 2 ½ weeks for three different friends that are going out of town. Wrigley’s my first dog and he’s been doing really well. I just hope he doesn’t get too bored at my house since he’s used to more excitement at his house.

Yesterday I cleaned in Nixa and then drove back in the snow. It was really pretty watching the snow fall. This is my kind of snow, light and pretty and most of it melted by the next day. I do like to play in it but I hate to drive in it.

So yesterday Wrigley and I just hung out at the house all day. We had a long night. It took me forever to get to sleep and then when I was finally tired my shoulder blade was in so much pain that I had to get up and take some ibuprofen to get the pain to stop. And my roomie was up too because she wasn’t feeling well. Then Wrigely wanted out of his cage because he heard us talking. So I let him out for a little bit and I think I finally fell asleep at 3am.

Today at church it was my turn to speak. We’re doing a series for Christmas called the Jesse Tree. Each week six people get up and speak about a specific person they were assigned to read about that week. We had to tell a little bit about the story and then tell how the story relates to us or to how God wants a relationship with us. I spoke on Nehemiah. God is still teaching me through that story. I’ll share more about it later.

After church I took a friend to lunch for her birthday and then I did a little Christmas shopping. I’m almost done with my shopping. I’ll finish the rest of this week after work. I’m going to make candy today. I’m doing a candy exchange at work and I have to make 12 packages of 6 pieces of candy. I’ll be busy with that this afternoon. I’ve got a Christmas party this week and things to get done at work. It should be a busy week but at least I don’t have to worry about any homework!!!

He is moving

Wow is all that I can say right now.

God is moving in my life and in the lives of those around me.

How amazing and humbling it is to know and trust that God is moving in my life!

I had been at a place in my life where I was angry and I had a horrible thought life. I had just let every little thing get to me and I hated the person I was becoming. I am not an angry person and that is not the kind of life that God has for me. He promises in John to give me a full and abundant life. I was not living the full and abundant life. I knew that I needed a change from within. A change that only God could create.

I had to re-examine my whole life - my thoughts. my relationship with God, my relationships with others. my outlook on life, my vision, my view of the future - EVERYTHING! Thank God that He never left me. I knew that I had to make some intentional changes - the music I was listening to was making me angry (and I never had a problem with that before), the things I did with friends, the words I spoke were not life-giving. Satan is good at what he does - he was definitley getting into my mind and feeding me all these lies. Even though I knew they weren't true I let them control my attitude. Praise God that I was able to see those as lies. I am beginning to see things differently and I can already see the changes God is doing in my life - in less than a week of this life change that I asked for. I've had some of the sweetest times with the Lord this past week.

How sweet to see God's hand leading me through. How sweet to see His faithfulness. How sweet to see His unconditional love flooding over my life. He's getting ready to do some amazing things and I pray that I am intentionally available for whatever He calls me to do.

Friends. please keep me in your prayers and let me know if there is anything I can do for you. I want to always be available.

stress

stress :(

i dislike stress

i feel it pressing in on me from all directions

from all areas of my life

when will it ever end?

or will it?

wait for it...

so God is teaching me to wait on Him....

Psalm 37
1Do not fret because of evildoers,
Be not envious toward wrongdoers.
2For they will wither quickly like the grass
And fade like the green herb.
3Trust in the LORD and do good;
Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.
4Delight yourself in the LORD;
And He will give you the desires of your heart.
5Commit your way to the LORD,
Trust also in Him, and He will do it.
6He will bring forth your righteousness as the light
And your judgment as the noonday.
7Rest in the LORD and wait patiently for Him;
Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way,
Because of the man who carries out wicked schemes.
8Cease from anger and forsake wrath;
Do not fret; it leads only to evildoing.
9For evildoers will be cut off,
But those who wait for the LORD, they will inherit the land.

reread verse 7 noting this part - WAIT PATIENTLY FOR HIM.

This is what God has been teaching me lately - in ALL areas of my life

for those of you who don't know i am going to start my masters - but God has told me to wait until fall to start, i am so stoked!! i am going to get a masters of christian education, with an emphasis in childhood ministry. it feels so amazing to finally know what i'm going to do with my life. children's ministry - that is where my heart is. i've always wanted to work with children but never knew in what capacity, with my faith being who i am and what i try to live daily, it's so amazing to me to be able to integrate two of my passions!

God is also teaching me to wait in my current job situation, i am planning on staying where i am and waiting for a new position to open up in the fall, unless He drops something else in my lap. i am trusting Him. i'm not going to go looking for another job.

another area where God is teaching me patience is in my relationships with others. there has been so much change lately in my life that i became overwhelmed with it. but i know now that i am to wait patiently for Him to reveal my role in my current and new relationships. as He says in james 5 - be patient, stand firm, don't grumble, and don't swear, we must persevere. even though i may not know what is going on, i know and trust that God is in control. i just have to remember that everyone is insecure, and that people act in a way that makes sense to them (it doesn't have to always make sense to me, but i need to have a love and compassion for the person in the way that God does). i also have to believe and live out that authenticity builds relational intimacy and that hypocrisy destroys it.

a line from one of my fav songs by chris tomlin - strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord (is. 40:31)

God has been teaching me so much lately and i absolutely love it!!

thoughts

some thoughts i've ran across that i'm still processing....

everyone is desperately insecure

aunthenticity builds genuine relational intimacy and hypocrisy destroys it

catch yourself and own it when you start to pose

when we're defensive we're usually hiding or running

i'll write more later on it.....have a Spirit-filled day

living in wonder

Psalm 16:7-11
I will bless the LORD who has counseled me;
Indeed, my mind instructs me in the night.
I have set the LORD continually before me;
Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad and my glory rejoices;
My flesh also will dwell securely.
For You will not abandon my soul to Sheol;
Nor will You allow Your Holy One to undergo decay.
You will make known to me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.

i just wanted to share this psalm with you. these words have encouraged me so much this week. in Him we have direction for life. in Him we have life!! in His presence we can have fullness of joy. knowing that just makes me want to throw out all my useless time and spend every minute in His presence. fullness of joy. to know that fullness of joy, to be separated from the enemy, how beautiful life would be. i want to hate evil and cling to what is good. and knowing in that - there are pleasures forever, not just for the short time we are on earth but forever, with Him.

i find that the more i read of His word, the more questions arise in my finite mind. i also find that the more i learn about people the less i understand. i just don't understand God. but as a friend told me, do i really want to understand? i've been thinking about that question a lot. as my friend said, if i understand everything then that would make me god. i know i don't want that. i enjoy living in wonder. i like to wonder about His marvelous works of nature. i like to wonder about the amazing and unfailing and unconditional love that He has for me. i like to wonder about my future, because jeremiah said that God knows the plans that He has for me, plans to prosper and not harm, plans to give me a hope and a future. i like to wonder about the plans He has for my family and friends.

i enjoy living in wonder. i don't want to understand, i want to wonder.

new beginnings

so today begins my new blogspot!! i'm so excited. i gave up myspace for lent. i've decided that what i like most about myspace is blogging. i'm a writer. not in the creative writing sense, but in that the best way i know how to express myself is to write. as i heard a lady say this weekend "i just have to literally throw up or write it all out." i feel the same way. sometimes i have so many thoughts running through my head that the only way i know to clear my head is to write it all out. i have to write it out or i literally feel sick, weird, i know.

i'm not sure if anyone will even read this, but it definitely helps me.

welcome one, welcome all to my blogspot :)